Alan Watts asked, “What Do You Desire”. So What is Desire Anyway?

Introduction.

So What is desire and what do you desire? In this article, we are going to share some thoughts on desire. What desire means, how it arises and what it does. We will also look at the positive and negative sides of desire. This is so you can decide how you want it to play a part in your life. This article is linked to the various states of being described in the book “Letting go” by Professor David H Dawkins. See more here.

What Allan Watts Meant

It was Alan Watts who made the question “What do you desire?” popular. Hit Refresh Now would like to add our two cents worth. Perhaps we will stimulate some thought and discussion about desire and the power of thought.

Watts asked his question on the basis of finding out what you would enjoy spending your life doing. What would give you meaning and how would you find satisfaction in life. Many a person thinks that money is the most important thing in life; in reality they want the things that money can buy. You might say that getting the money will lead to a life full of what you like, if your desire is more money.

Watts further asks you to consider if money were no object; would you spend your time doing things differently to the way you do now?

Is it better to live a long life spent in a miserable way. On the other hand is it better to have a short life that is full of stimulus. A short life that motivates you to become a master of something. Many people may justify themselves, with thoughts of being less than or in some way limited. In this way they allow themselves to settle in life for less than what they really want.

What Buddhism has to say.

Buddhism teaches that the root of all suffering is desire. Desire creates attachments and a focus on the narrow achievements that you think you want. How often have you achieved something only to find the feelings of success were short lived and a disappointment to your expectations? Your desire can be like a ball and chain that holds back your progress in life if misdirected.

Please note that nothing in this article is advice of any kind. The Author is just sharing thoughts and insight gained in his personal experience.

What is the true meaning of desire?

Desire is defined as a want, either a want to have something, or a want for something to happen. Your desire has varying intensity ranging from a mild wish, to an intense obsession that holds your every thought prisoner to your craving.

Your desire drives a sense of need, or hunger, for attainment of the object of your desire. At the root of desire is the feeling of lack; if you desire something it is painfully apparent that you do not have it. This is an important distinction, because your feelings of lack can be the very thing that prevents your desire turning up in your life. The manifestation process is about creating what you want in your mind, letting go of any desire and being grateful for what you have created, while you wait for it to show up in your life.

When you feel desire you have forfeited a part of your freedom, your desire is in control of your thoughts, in direct proportion to the intensity of that desire.

The important question to ask yourself is; whether your desire is a conscious decision to fulfill a chosen want, or are you allowing yourself to be controlled by false beliefs and other external influences.

The Paradox of Desire

Desire is a bit of a paradox. At the root of your desire is the wish to be in control of your life and how it unfolds. You put this into perspective when you understand that the universe has been in existence for some 14 billion years. If you look at your lifespan in relation to that of the universe; a human life becomes almost insignificant in terms of time. The universe has evolved quite successfully, as humans come and go, and it will continue to do so until the end of time.

How can a short human life hope  to control something that has rattled on for billions of years. Is it not absolutely stupid to spend your precious time trying to control things around you that you can’t control?

The paradox comes when you realise that your desire and resultant determination to control things are actually controlling you and your behavior.

Why is desire important for your path in life?

Healthy desire is good because it motivates you to move forward and achieve things in life. Without desire you would find yourself in a state of apathy which can be extremely unhealthy. Desire makes you curious enough to seek out experience.

You have natural desires which are:

• food,
• sleep,
• procreation,
• wealth
• recognition.

These are the drivers that give meaning to life and allow you to assess where you are, compared to where you want to be. This assessment allows you to decide if change is necessary, either to your progress in life, or your life plan itself.

When your desire becomes a craving, this is when the wheels may fall off. You only need to think about the results experienced by cravings, such as addictive behavior, to understand that this type of obsession can be very destructive.

Desire is the product of your wonderful imagination. You form a picture in your mind that appeals to you and then you take steps to make it a reality in your life. Once you make your desire real, your reward is a sense of achievement, or the recognition of others.

Other Positive Desires.

Other positive desires are your need for:

• Security,
• Community,
• Connection,
• Comfort,
• Love,
• Challenge.

All of these provide you with an environment in which you feel relatively safe. This safety in turn, allows you to continue to create wonderful pictures in your mind that encourage you to move forward in life and try out different things. You have hope for the future.

Our Education System.

Our traditional kind of educational system teaches you to be usefull in society and to contribute in a meaningful way. The subjects you choose are designed to make you fit in to the rat race. You follow the same track as all of those before you.

You may end up doing things you don’t like in order to follow in the same track and provide contiuity to the way things are. This may not be as motivational as you would like, but at least you are able to get a good salary and go about bringing up your children to live the same sort of life as you and everyone else.

Your healthy desires can help you to determine what you want in life. This may not be what society has tried to prepare you for. If you follow your desires without becoming too attached to the outcomes; this may lead to the pleasure and fulfillment in life that you deserve.

The courage you develop from your healthy desire can help you break free of convention and build a better life.   

What causes desire and What does desire feel like?

When you imagine what it is that you desire, you create an idea of what achieving that goal would feel like. This idea is either an understatement or exaggeration of the eventual feeling on achievement, meaning that the outcome will either pleasantly surprise, or disappoint you. If the outcome is exactly as you expected it to be, this outcome will most likely satisfy you.

The brain chemical associated with desire is dopamine. Dopamine is the motivation chemical that induces action when released. There is an anticipation of reward that initially makes the idea of pursuing your desire worthwhile. So as a result you move foreward.

If your desire is to be part of a particular group or community, the brain chemical associated with a feeling of belonging is oxytocin.

The Role of Big Business in Creating Desire.

In our modern world, the creation of desire in others has become big business. Major corporations spend huge amounts of money to create desire for “things” in the general public, so that they buy their products. In our fast paced modern lifestyle, fads and fashions come and go so quickly. They can consume all of your attention, as you try to keep up with the must haves that the advertising industry is peddling.

Unfortunately, one of the external motivators for desire is to make you feel like you are missing out, or you are not one of the in crowd, or you are just not enough, unless you have the latest fashionable thing. This type of marketing has led to many people developing limiting beliefs and poor self image. So much so that a whole set of associated conditions have developed, such as body dysmorphia, addiction and other dysfunctional types of behavior.

The corporate world has created unhealthy desire by making you feel less than, sepatate from, and lacking, in all of the things that they deem you should have, be and do to have a succesful, fulfilled life and fit in the way that they say you should. They manipulate and control your wants and desires to line their own pockets. They do this, seemingly without any concern for the unintended consequences this type of manipulation can cause. Anyway there is always the pharmaseutical industry to benefit from the inevitable fall out.

Why does desire cause suffering?

The shadow side of desire can control you with feelings such as obsession and greed. These in turn, can lead to behavior that is ruthless and selfish.

Suffering doesn’t only affect you when you have unhealthy desire; history is littered with the victims of greed and the lust for power in others.

Buddhism teaches us that desire causes all suffering. Desire that is a soft manifestation of your fear of lack, or that you are not enough as you are. Your desire delivers the possibility of a gain in the future that will prevent lack. Within your desire is the thought that you can control the uncontrollable. The thought that when you have control you will be happy. You foget that happiness deosn’t have to be conditional, it can simply be something that you decide to be.

How Does Ego Fit in

Your desire comes from the little you, the ego based, limited part of you that sees threat and lack and can only validate itself by comparison to others. The more the ego has the more it thinks it is a success.

Your ego tells you that if you just have the next thing you will be happy; in this state you are relying on the future to deliver your contentment instead of learning to be present and live in the now. If this is the state you find yourself in, the sound of “if only” will rule your life. You say: “If only I can achieve this or that milestone, then I will be happy”.

Instead of relying on the future to deliver your happiness, accept that happiness is now and happiness is a choice. Gregory Peck, the famous actor, once said “People are pretty much as happy as they decide to be.”

Do we control what we desire?

Whether or not you can control your desires depends on the level of awareness you have to recognize the potential each desire has to influence your behavior. The more aware you become, the more you are able to evaluate your desires as healthy or unhealthy.

The choices you make when you evaluate which desires are worth pursuing will determine the outcome of following your desires.

The structure of our societies has determined that there are various levels of need. Each level needs to be satisfied before the next level can be contemplated. This hierarchy of needs was described by Abraham Maslow, an American psychologist in 1943 in his paper called “A Theory of Human Motivation.”  

Maslow described these needs as moving in order as follows:

1. Psychological needs
2. Safety
3. Belonging and love
4. Social needs or esteem
5. Cognitive
6. Self actualization
7. Transcendence

In this hierarchy, the desires for each level of needs have to be satisfied before the next level can be activated, or considered. Put simply: your natural behavior is to achieve your needs for survival before you are capable of contemplating the nature of the universe.

As you move up the hierarchy, your level of awareness increases so that you are able to move away from living by instinct to a more conscious existence.

What does desire mean spiritually?

When you think about your most basic desire, you will come to the conclusion that you just want to be happy. But have you ever wondered why this is so.

Your natural state as spirit, when you are one with the universal mind is a state of bliss, the ultimate in happiness. When you decided to experience life as a localized manifestation of the all that is, you created the illusion of separation from oneness and agreed to forget who and what you are in order to experience the duality and illusion of life as a human.

Your desire for happiness is the roadmap that leads you back to oneness and remembering that you are everything that exists. The father is all of you; but you are not all of the father, not yet.

Your roadmap is like a satellite navigation device, with a voice that tells you which way to go, where to turn, and where the points of interest are on your journey.

Unfortunately, like most motorists, you decide when you want to listen to and follow the directions; and when you don’t, sometimes you get lost. The good thing is that your guiding voice will never let you down and will always help you get back on track, no matter how far you have strayed.

Some Quotes About Desire.

“Three things are necessary for the salvation of man: to know what he ought to believe; to know what he ought to desire; and to know what he ought to do.”

– Thomas Aquinas.

“If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world.”

– C. S. Lewis.

“A creative man is motivated by the desire to achieve, not by the desire to beat others.”

– Ayn Rand.

“I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day.”

– E. B. White.

“If you aren’t humble, whatever empathy you claim is false and probably results from some arrogance or the desire to control. But true empathy is rooted in humility and the understanding that there are many people with as much to contribute in life as you.”

– Anand Mahindra.

“There is an invisible strength within us; when it recognizes two opposing objects of desire, it grows stronger.”

– Rumi.

“The desire of gold is not for gold. It is for the means of freedom and benefit.”

– Ralph Waldo Emerson.

“It is hard to contend against one’s heart’s desire; for whatever it wishes to have it buys at the cost of soul.”

– Heraclitus.

“When you are discontent, you always want more, more, more. Your desire can never be satisfied. But when you practice contentment, you can say to yourself, ‘Oh yes – I already have everything that I really need.”

– Dalai Lama.

Letting Go of Your Desire.

As already mentioned, the emotion of desire is connected with a feeling of lack. Your awareness tells you that you don’t have the thing you want. This creates an energetic distance between you and the object of your desire.

If you can let go of your desire and use your imagination to affirm that you already have what you want, and to affirm that you are merely waiting for it to manifest, you remove the energetic distance between you and what you want.

Once you do this the energetic resonance between you and what you want comes into sync and you merely need to go into a state of gratitude and wait for it to manifest.

An example of gratitude Instead of Desire.

A good example of this is the rain dance carried out by the North American first nation people. A common misunderstanding is that the dance symbolizes a prayer for rain to happen. This is not so, the rain dance is a dance of gratitude for the rain that is already on its way.

So the simple solution to desire; is to let go of what you desire and wait for what you have already created to manifest.

The process of letting go is simple. However, sometimes simple is not easy. The most important thing is to allow your desire to be, recognise it and acknowledge it. Feel the intensity of the emotion and after you allow it to build, peak and subsude just let it fade to nothing. If it re-emerges, just repeat the process.

Meditation and Desire.

Meditation can help with this process. Also, it helps to have a gratitude practice, to appreciate what you already have in your life. This may stop you having feelings of lack that may lead to other desires develping.

Letting go of desire is a means to stop desire controlling you in unhealthy ways. That is not to say that it is wrong to want to achieve things. Life is about living and reaching your potential and learning wisdom. If you can look at the things you want and not allow tham to become an unhealthy obsession by letting go; you may just be giving the universe the opportunity to deliver something better than you thought you deserved, better than your wildest expectations. Wouldn’t that be a wonderful thing. All as a result of letting go of your desire.

Frequently Asked Questions: What Do You Desire? So What is Desire Anyway?

Q: What is desire and why is it important in life?

A: Desire is a powerful motivational force, that drives individuals to pursue their aspirations, goals, and dreams. It encompasses the yearning and longing for something that brings satisfaction and fulfillment in life. Desire plays a crucial role in shaping our choices, actions, and overall sense of purpose.

Q: Is it better to have a long life or a short one that is full of what you like doing?

A: The answer to this question depends on personal preferences and values. Some individuals may prioritize a long life, valuing the opportunities for growth, experience, and making a lasting impact. Others may prioritize a shorter life filled with activities they genuinely enjoy, focusing on quality over quantity. Ultimately, it’s important to find satisfaction in life by bringing together one’s desires and the length of life that aligns with personal fulfillment.

Q: Is money the most important factor when it comes to fulfilling desires?

A: While money can provide resources and opportunities, it is not necessarily the most important factor in fulfilling desires. While financial stability can enhance one’s ability to pursue certain interests and experiences; true satisfaction in life often stems from a deeper connection to one’s passions, relationships, personal growth, and overall well-being. Money may enable some desires, but it is not the sole determinant of fulfillment.

Q: Why do people desire to go on doing things they like even if money were no object?

A: The desire to continue doing things one likes, even without financial constraints, is rooted in the intrinsic motivation and personal fulfillment derived from engaging in meaningful activities. When money is not the driving factor, individuals are free to pursue their genuine interests and passions, which can bring a sense of purpose, joy, and personal growth. Money may facilitate opportunities, but the desire to engage in fulfilling activities extends beyond material gain.

Q: Is it better to follow a short path in life or a long path doing something you don’t enjoy?

A: It is generally better to follow a short path in life doing something you genuinely enjoy rather than pursuing a long path in a field that lacks personal fulfillment. Engaging in activities you like can lead to a greater sense of happiness, satisfaction, and overall well-being. Choosing a path aligned with your desires and interests allows you to go on doing things that bring you joy and meaning, creating a more fulfilling life experience.

Q: Can spending a long life doing things you dislike lead to dissatisfaction and regret?

A: Spending a long life doing things you dislike can often lead to dissatisfaction and regret. If the majority of your time is spent engaging in activities that don’t align with your interests or values, it can create a sense of emptiness, unhappiness, and unfulfillment. It is important to prioritize activities and pursuits that resonate with you to live a more satisfying life.

Q: How can someone eventually become a master of something they truly desire?

A: Becoming a master in something you desire requires dedication, practice, and a growth mindset. By consistently investing time and effort into honing your skills and knowledge, you can gradually develop expertise and proficiency in your chosen field. Embracing a lifelong learning mentality, seeking mentorship, and actively pursuing opportunities to refine your craft are key steps on the path to mastery.

Q: Is it possible to find satisfaction in life by bringing up children and educating them to live the same sort of lives?

A: Finding satisfaction in life by bringing up children and educating them to live similar lives can be a meaningful pursuit for some individuals. Sharing values, experiences, and passions with one’s children can create a sense of purpose and fulfillment. However, it is important to recognize that children are unique individuals with their own desires and aspirations. Balancing parental guidance with allowing children to explore and discover their own paths is essential for their personal growth and fulfillment.

Q: Can desire be a motivating factor to become a poet or a writer, even if it may not lead to financial success?

A: Absolutely! Desire can be a powerful motivating factor to become a poet, writer, or pursue any creative endeavor, regardless of financial success. Artists often follow their passions, driven by the intrinsic joy and fulfillment that comes from self-expression, storytelling, and connecting with others through their work. While financial success may not always be guaranteed, the pursuit of artistic passions can lead to a rich and rewarding life experience.

Q: What are some other factors that can influence our desires apart from money?

A: Our desires can be influenced by a multitude of factors beyond money, including personal values, relationships, cultural influences, life experiences, passions, societal expectations, and intrinsic motivations. Each individual’s desires are shaped by a unique combination of these influences, making it important to reflect on what truly resonates with us and brings us a sense of fulfillment.

Q: Can desires be influenced by external sources like romance novels or societal trends?

A: Yes, external sources such as romance novels or societal trends can exert influence on our desires. Cultural narratives, media, and social influences can shape our perceptions of what is desirable or ideal in certain contexts. However, it is important to engage in critical thinking and self-reflection to ensure that our desires align with our true values and aspirations rather than being solely driven by external influences.

Q: How does desire relate to personal satisfaction and fulfillment in life?

A: Desire and personal satisfaction are closely intertwined. When we align our desires with our actions and choices, pursuing activities and goals that resonate with us, we are more likely to experience a sense of fulfillment and contentment. Understanding our desires and actively working towards fulfilling them can contribute to a more satisfying and meaningful life journey.

Summing up – What Do you Desire?

Desire in a natural part of experience, it motivates you to move forward and gives you hope that things can change for the better.

Your level of awareness determines the quality of choice that you exercise as to which desires are healthy and worth effort, and which desires are unhealthy and probably best avoided. In this way you can decide what level of service you bring to others in your life.

Your level of awareness can protect you from the manipulation of your surroundings. Manipulation from other external sources which may be motivated by greed and ruthlessness and probably don’t have your best interests at heart.

Proper awareness of your desires and the choices you make, will make you more likely to be present and not constantly dragging the past into the present, or worrying about what the future might bring.

Use your imagination and think big, to make your desires drive you towards the life you want and deserve. Don’t limit your imagination to what you know, allow yourself to dream infinite dreams. If you live your life with intentionality and leave behind you limiting beliefs, son you will be unstoppable. You dont have to be interested in everything, just have an interest and be amazing as a result.

Above all, it is important to make sure that your desires are compatible with your core values. This is necessary to make sure that there is no dissonance between your achievements and your values. If these don’t complement each other it is a recipe for frustration and lack of fulfillment.

Finally.

Finally let go of your desire and know and be grateful that what you want is on its way to you. Dont be rigid in your expectation of the outcome of your desire. Even if you dont have the faintest idea how it will happan, let the universe surprise you. 

May your journey home, to blissful happiness in the oneness of the all that is, be filled with wonderful adventure and genuinely be the greatest experience of your lifetime.

With love as always

Richard H Morris.