What Is Forgiveness and Why Is Forgiveness Important?

Introduction.

What is forgiveness and why is forgiveness important? Welcome to my corner of the Internet. My intention in writing this article is to explain forgiveness. An understanding of this may provoke you into letting go. Letting go of all of the grudges, mistreatment, disappointments and animosity that may have built up in you. This might have happened over all of the years that you have been experiencing this wonderful adventure that you call your life.

You will come to understand that any emotion that you go through in life is not meant to form permanent moods and habitual responses; rather emotion is supposed to give color to your experience. Once experience passes through you and you move on by forgiving, you will release the emotional attachments and allow people and situations to show up differently in your life.

To forgive means letting go of resentment and other negative feelings, reconciliation takes place, and you stop dwelling on who was wrong. Forgiving also provides benefits to your physical health. 

What is The True Meaning of Forgiving?

If you are going to practice forgiving, it would be good for you to have a proper understanding of what forgiving is and what it is not.

My understanding of forgiving is that it is “the unconditional release of an energetic link between two or more people, one or all of whom are suffering as a result of the energy they share”.

This energetic link was created by an interaction of words and/or actions, which caused disharmony between the participants. This is causing emotional energy to get stuck and linger in the memories of one, or both, of the people involved.

There are other definitions of forgiveness I have come across, which include an obligation for one party to change their behavior or apologize, in order to be pardoned. This is called transactional forgiveness, but I believe that this type of interaction has an energetic overhang which might be: either doubts about the sincerity of the apology; or a suspicion that the harmful behavior may be repeated, or both.

That is why in my definition I used the word “unconditional”. This means that all energetic ties are released without any overhang. True fogiveness holds no conditions to imprison others.

To Forgive Is a Process

It is important to realize that forgiving is a process. When you learn to forgive people who hurt you, that decision to let go allows you to let go of anger and resentment and other negative emotions. Later on, you may be able to understand the other person’s point of view, although understanding doesn’t mean agreement or consent.

 First and foremost, forgiveness is for you and your emotional and physical health. The act of forgiving will restore your peace of mind. To forgive doesn’t mean that the actions of those who hurt others are acceptable, it is a starting point where you make a conscious decision to let go and move on.

Types Of Forgiveness.

In some African cultures, forgiving is something undertaken by the whole community. It involves forgiving a single person, a group of people or the community itself. There is an understanding around unwanted consequences if forgiveness is not exercised.

Plato said that there isn’t forgiveness, it is rather forgivingness. This is described as the appreciation that people do bad things either intentionally or unintentionally because they are who they are. They are only capable of actions in alignment with who they are and where they are on their learning journey. As a result, they may be ignorant, irrational or unable to overcome negative forces within themselves.

In some Polynesian cultures, when someone breaks tradition, the moral code, or behaves inappropriately; the community comes together and asks forgiveness from the offender. It is considered to be the responsibility of the community to guide the behavior of all of those who live within it. Tradition says that the community must have let the transgressor down, by not teaching him or her properly.

Why is The Process of Forgiving Important and So Powerful?

Part of forgiving is to acknowledge that the people who offend you are only capable of the actions or words that you are forgiving. This makes their actions a perfect expression of who they are. If this is so, these words and actions are a reflection of the divine in them. They have given you an opportunity to stand in your power and allow the divine in you to shine.

 To forgive doesn’t mean that you accept another’s behaviour, it doesn’t mean that you stand idly by and betray your truth. You may be justified in taking action to stop further wrongdoing.  This requires you to look inside and test your resolve to stand up to the situation. This allows you to express the divine in yourself by acting without judgement.

Your forgiving is not a sign of weakness; neither does it mean that you forget the incident. Your forgiving is a decision not to allow the past to bind you and to allow others to show up differently in the future.

To forgive is probably the most powerful instance of living your life as an example to others.

To Forgive is a Choice.

When you understand that true forgiveness is a choice that almost anyone can learn and process it at their own pace, this is liberating. It reduces the risk of depression and other consequences of not choosing to let go. There is no more dwelling on the past, holding on to grudges and these feelings can be replaced with empathy and compassion as you let go of resentment and hostility.

When others, who have caused pain and hurt, experience the benefits of being forgiven, it can cause changes at a deep level in the person who harmed you. Your example of the right way shows them that they can make better choices.

What Makes Forgiveness Difficult? How Do You Learn To Be More Forgiving?

Your emotional response, together with a fear of how others will judge you, can cause a reluctance to forgive. Your ego may tell you that you need to have your revenge, to place you in a winning position and to show everyone involved that you are better than them. You may not want to appear to be weak. However, weakness is not what forgiving is about.

Unfortunately, if you take revenge, you will inevitably feel some pangs of guilt as deep down inside you know that you are better than this. These types of actions inevitably prolong the energetic connections and can lead to intensification of conflict.

Sometimes it takes you some time to allow your emotional reaction to subside. It may be a while before you are ready to forgive. That’s okay, the decision of when to forgive, or whether to forgive at all, is yours alone.

Remember that to forgive is a choice to be made when you are ready. Allow yourself time to process the emotions you feel toward someone who hurt you. It is important not to supress your emotions but to acknowledge them, allow them to be and let go of them when you are ready. Then forgiving can take place, remembering to forgive yourself, for any feelings of guilt you may have, first. Then forgive others. 

How Do You Forgive Others and Let Go of Grudges?

In order to forgive and let go, it is good to remember that you are a divine being. You are a localised manifestation of the oneness that is everything. That being said, the person you are forgiving is the same as you. In reality, you are oneness, no duality, no separation.

In order to understand who you are you have to strip away what you are not. To do this you have to realize that you are not your thoughts, your emotions, your body or your relationships.

When you strip away all that you are not, what remains is pure conscious awareness; which is observing and experiencing the material. That is your essence, which is what you really are.

Vibrating and Attracting.

All experience is energy vibrating and attracting. Sometimes an experience attracts more of your attention than others do. Stronger emotions manifest and couple with this experience. The emotional energy, if not felt and then let go, can become stuck in your memories and becomes part of you. The energy is suppressed, which is not healthy. This leads to you attracting more of the same people and experiences, which is your subconscious mind’s way to remind you of the stuck energy and to encourage you to allow it to be and let it go.

It is important to allow this energy to come to the surface, which can be painful and difficult to bear. However as you allow yourself to feel the pain, it will lessen and fade as you allow it to be and let go.

Part of letting go and allowing yourself to forgive is to acknowledge that you are not your experiences and relationships. These are things you have, not who you are. When they have run their course, you let them go, to avoid getting stuck in repeating cycles.

What Happens When Things Go Wrong and Forgiveness Does Not Happen?

When you are unwilling or unable to forgive, the energetic bonds created by the situation remain intact. There is still a connection and that connection still carries a vibration of conflict and emotional pain. This is caused by the anger and hurt, and by holding onto grudges formed as a result of thse feelings of anger.

A refusal to forgive can cause an intensification of the conflict or a simmering of emotions that can lead to stress and, in extreme cases perhaps illness. Things will inevitably get worse. Forgiving helps you heal.

If you don’t practice forgiving, you may go through life resentful and feeling like a victim. Inevitably, you will be dragging the past into the present as your energetic frame of reference will be the past injustices that you think you suffered.

When you have a negative thought that persists, this negative thought becomes a mood. The mood, if it persists becomes a habit. The habit that persists becomes your personality.

By following this process from negative thought to personality, you have given your power away to people and circumstances that don’t support you becoming your best self. Don’t do that, you are far too precious for that to happen. All along, these people and situations are offering you the opportunity to shine your divine light, should you choose to do so. Let go of negative emotions, release them to the past and move forward without them, you deserve better than to remain stuck in the past because you were hurt by the anger and hostility of someone who doesn’t know any better. This can be an important lesson for them too.

A Few Forgiveness and Healing Quotes to Inspire You.

Here are a few of my favorite quotes about forgiving:

“Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it”.

–   Mark Twain.

“It’s one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself, to forgive. Forgive everybody”.

–  Maya Angelou.

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong”.

–  Mahatma Gandhi.

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”

– Martin Luther King, Jr.

“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.”

– Lewis B. Smedes.

“All major religious traditions carry basically the same message, that is love, compassion and forgiveness the important thing is they should be part of our daily lives.”

–  Dalai Lama.

“How unhappy is he who cannot forgive himself.”

– Publilius Syrus.

Lastly perhaps the most well-known of all:

“To err is human; to forgive, divine”.

– Alexander Pope.

An Extreme Example of The Importance of Forgiveness.

To give you an example of forgiving, I would like to share the following story:

There was a young woman who was in college in America. Tragically, a group of young men raped her. When the police caught the men, the woman refused to lay charges and instead forgave them. She felt that if she held onto the situation that it would end up killing her. So she forgave and let go of the ordeal.

Twenty years later, she met one of the men that had raped her. He had become a police officer because he had felt so guilty and distraught about his actions. The man explained to her that he felt so affected by what she had done for him through her forgiving, that he decided to dedicate his life to helping others.

I wonder how you and I would have reacted in a similar situation, if we had been a victim of something similar, or if something similar had happened to one of our loved ones. I pray we never end up in a situation where we find out.

This woman’s forgiveness gave the rapists the opportunity to show up in life differently.

This extreme example shows that we all have the ability to forgive any person who has wronged us. Forgiving requires only for us to decide to do it. Think about occasions in your own life, where you perhaps haven’t made that decision yet. Is it time to think of forgiving in order for you to let go of the past?

Frequently Asked Questions: What Is The Power Of Forgiveness and Why Is Forgiveness Important?

Q: What is forgiveness?

A: Forgiveness is the act of letting go of negative emotions, such as anger and resentment, and choosing to release any grudges or feelings of hurt towards someone who has wronged us.

Q: Why is forgiveness important?

A: Forgiveness is important because it has numerous benefits for your emotional and physical health. It allows you to let go of the past, heal your wounds, and experience peace of mind. Forgiveness also promotes reconciliation and improves relationships.

Q: How does forgiveness help us?

A: Forgiving can help you in many ways. It frees you from the burden of anger and resentment, allowing you to focus on positive aspects of life. It improves your emotional well-being, reduces stress, and lowers the risk of depression. Forgiving brings inner peace and enhances your overall life satisfaction.

Q: Is forgiveness a process?

A: Forgiveness is a process rather than a one-time event. It involves acknowledging the pain and hurt caused by someone, understanding what forgiveness means from your own perspective, and making a conscious decision to let go of negative feelings.

Q: How can forgiveness benefit our health?

A: Research has found that people who practice forgiveness experience improved emotional and physical health. Forgiving can lower blood pressure, reduce heart disease risk, and boost overall heart health. It also contributes to better immune function and helps in the healing process.

Q: Can almost anyone learn to forgive?

A: Almost anyone can learn to forgive. While forgiving may be challenging, it is a choice you can make to release feelings of anger and hurt. It requires empathy and compassion towards the person who harmed you, but with practice, anyone can develop the ability to forgive.

Q: What does the Bible say about forgiveness?

A: The Bible emphasizes the importance of forgiveness and offers guidance on practicing forgiving. It teaches that forgiveness is not only beneficial for the person who forgives but also for the person being forgiven. Biblical passages highlight the value of forgiveness as a central aspect of spiritual growth and healing.

Q: How does forgiveness contribute to healing?

A: Forgiveness contributes to healing by freeing you from the emotional pain and hurt caused by someone else’s actions or words. It allows you to let go of resentment and hostility, promoting emotional well-being and creating space for personal growth. Forgiving can also help reconcile relationships and restore a sense of harmony.

Q: How can I learn to be more forgiving?

A: Learning to be more forgiving involves practicing forgiveness in daily life. You can start by recognizing your feelings of anger and resentment, acknowledging the transgression, and making a conscious decision to let go of negative emotions. Writing about your forgiveness journey in a journal can also be helpful in gaining insights and promoting self-reflection.

Q: Why is it important to let go of grudges?

A: Letting go of grudges is important because holding onto negative feelings towards others only hurts you in the long run. It can lead to increased stress, resentment, and hinders personal growth. By consciously deciding to let go of grudges, you open yourself up to the benefits of forgiveness and pave the way for a more fulfilling life.

Q: How does forgiveness relate to compassion?

A: Forgiveness and compassion are closely linked. When you practice forgiveness, you cultivate a sense of empathy and compassion towards the person who has hurt you. By understanding the pain and suffering that may have led you to hurt others, you can approach forgiveness with a more compassionate mindset. Forgiveness and compassion work hand in hand to foster understanding, promote healing, and create positive connections with others.

Q: What can forgiveness do for our well-being?

A: Forgiveness can improve your overall well-being in various ways. By letting go of negative emotions and grudges, forgiveness reduces the burden of anger and resentment, leading to increased inner peace and emotional stability. It can also enhance your self-esteem, promote healthier relationships, and contribute to a greater sense of life satisfaction.

Q: Can forgiveness help us heal from past pain and hurt?

A: Forgiveness has the power to help you heal from past pain and hurt. When you forgive, you release yourself from the emotional chains that keep you tied to the past. By choosing to let go and move forward, you create space for healing, personal growth, and the opportunity to build stronger, more fulfilling relationships.

Q: Is forgiveness a choice?

A: Forgiveness is a choice you make. It is a conscious decision to let go of negative emotions and release the grudges you may be holding onto. While forgiving may not come easily, it is within your power to choose forgiveness and free yourself from the burden of anger, resentment, and hurt.

Q: What are some benefits to forgiveness?

A: Forgiveness brings about numerous benefits to your life. It helps you let go of negative emotions, reduces stress, and improves your emotional and mental well-being. Forgiving people can lead to stronger and more positive relationships. Additionally, forgiveness has been linked to improved physical health, including lower blood pressure and reduced risk of heart disease.

Q: Can anyone learn to forgive, regardless of the severity of the transgression?

A: Anyone can learn to forgive, regardless of the severity of the transgression. While forgiving a major offense may be more challenging, the act of forgiving is a personal journey that varies from person to person. It is a process that you can engage in at your own pace, allowing you to find healing and understanding in your own time.

Q: How does forgiveness affect our relationships with others?

A: Forgiveness can have a transformative effect on your relationships with others. It enables you to let go of feelings of resentment and hostility, fostering empathy and understanding. By choosing to forgive, you open the door to reconciliation, improved communication, and the opportunity for deeper connections with those who have hurt you.

Q: Can forgiveness improve our mental and emotional health?

A: Forgiveness can significantly improve your mental and emotional health. Holding onto grudges and harboring anger and resentment can contribute to increased stress, anxiety, and depression. By practicing forgiveness, you alleviate these negative emotions and create space for positive feelings, such as compassion, empathy, and peace of mind.

Q: How can forgiveness impact our physical health?

A: Forgiveness has been linked to improved physical health. It has been suggested that when you practice forgiveness you may experience lower blood pressure, reduced risk of heart disease, and overall better heart health. By letting go of negative emotions and cultivating positive ones, forgiveness positively influences your physical well-being.

Q: Is forgiveness necessary for personal growth and moving forward in life?

A: Forgiveness is necessary for personal growth and moving forward in life. Holding onto grudges and dwelling on the past hinders your ability to grow, learn, and fully embrace the present. By forgiving, you free yourself from the shackles of the past and open yourself up to new experiences, personal development, and a brighter future.

Q: Can forgiveness benefit the person who has wronged us?

A: Forgiveness can benefit the person who has wronged you as well. By choosing to forgive, you allow the possibility for the transgressor to experience personal growth and reflect on their actions. Forgiveness can also create an opportunity for reconciliation and the rebuilding of trust, leading to more positive and meaningful relationships.   Remember that forgiveness is a deeply personal journey, and everyone may approach it differently. The key is to understand the importance of forgiveness, both for your own well-being and for the growth and healing of others.

Last Thoughts About Forgiveness and Compassion.

Always remember, forgiveness is release, primarily for the forgiver. You are releasing yourself from the energetic ties that are binding you to a relationship or situation that does not serve you. Forgiveness releases you to stand in your own power and decide, from your heart, how to continue; without emotion distorting your decision as to how you are going to go forward.

Forgiveness is a simple act but it is not always easy. It helps bring us together and reduces the sense of separation that pervades our modern world.

Sometimes the most important person you should forgive is yourself. Just remember that although you may have a choice as to your actions, you will always do as you are, precisely because that is who you are. There is no judgement in the universe because the universal mind is pure conscious awareness and knowingness. Only your ego judges, through your perception and your belief of who you are, if you allow it to. Once you forgive, there is no judgement there is only forgiveness which leads us back to love.

By the way, if you don’t have a copy of the book yet and you would like to have one, you can get a copy here

For those of you who would like to experience forgiveness from someone because of something you did that you feel guilty about, but this forgiveness is being withheld, you might like to read more about guilt here.

 With love as always

Richard H Morris